This began as a reading assignment for counseling with the above excerpt, and I was then asked to write my interpretation and feelings in regards to the article and Soul Mates I feel this is something I should share with all of you as well. I believe this is important for anyone who has or is dealing with codependency also. Just know that you are not alone, and it isn’t the end.
- CODEPENDENCY: “excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically a partner who requires support due to an illness or addiction.”
- ” It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive.” – MHA
Sexuality, companionship, and love are all marvelous things to have throughout life, but these things are not TRULY needed to live a beautiful life. Our soul is already full, so these things are just dessert. Therefore, we should not allow sexuality, companionship, and love to drive us or to bring us down. If we listened to our soul, we wouldn’t fixate on material things.
We need to first love ourselves without judgment, and allow our souls to shine through. We cannot mask it with some of the “ugly” that our minds can feed us. Only then can we allow non-toxic companionship, love, and sexuality; and we won’t have these desires with the misleading hope that they will “fix us” or make anything better in any way. To have these things and allow them to control you is not truly living either.
I have gone through life with the belief that I NEEDED someone else by my side to be happy, to feel whole, and to feel beautiful, but that is not what my soul would tell me, if I had listened. I have reeled people in with an energy which was not that of my soul, and thus led me to a toxic lifestyle, repeating the same patterns with each person I attempted to open my heart up to. I was portraying the old data in my mind, and not what I truly wanted which only hindered me from being TRULY happy and caused me to endure much abuse within my relationships at such a young age. I began to doubt and judge myself because of another.
Living in your mind, and believing you NEED someone to live can be just as damaging as being with someone and forcing yourself to stay BECAUSE you think you need them especially if that person is toxic. Two people truly living and listening to their own souls, would not make the other feel obligated and both would be completely honest and love without judgment on themselves and one another. We should not seek companionship, love, and sexuality to “feel better”. We should be in an equally conscious relationship, neither person superior to the other, and allow it to just flow and happen. Taking each moment that we can together and appreciating them, and never allowing the flame that burns so bright in the beginning to die. No pressure, no deceit, no judgment of ourselves or the other, just love and communication. This is someone to share your journey with, not someone who determines your journey.
After reading this passage and taking in what I have experienced and learned, I understand there really are no soul mates; maybe life partner / a best friend you can love and be intimate with by exposing all of yourself without holding anything back. Someone who won’t steer you away from your soul, but love you for everything. Both conscious and both creating what you want together AND individually, again with no judgment.
Sharing your life with someone can be beautiful, but your soul does not NEED anyone to BE beautiful. Love yourself 1st and everyone thereafter will follow.